I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
