She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
