I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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