O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
