he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
