If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
