Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
