Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
