After last night, I could never be a politician.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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