My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
