theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
