so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
