it was like fucking gandolphs beard
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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