I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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