in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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