So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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