Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
