Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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