Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
