Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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