i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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