you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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