is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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