She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
