Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize