Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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