Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
