do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
