Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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