I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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