I don't think brook has ever known best
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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