I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
