i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
