I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
