After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
