a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
