We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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