You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize