I hate all girls vehemently.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
