I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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