Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
