I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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