I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
