i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize