so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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