Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
