and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
