Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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