Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
