I don't think brook has ever known best
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
