chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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