i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
