Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
How's work?
Spinning.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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