I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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