He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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