I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
