Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
