I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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