I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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