So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
