either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
